Touchscreens for the youth… whatever will they think of next.

Oh, wait, they have already thought of that. Hmm. Multiple times, you say? So many times you’re sick of hearing about how this phone or that phone are being targeted at ’style conscious youth markets’. Right. And you want to stab the next person who mentions anything to do with ’style’ or ’social networking’ or ‘being at the centre of a media revolution’ in the same sentence as ‘an affordable option.’ Okay then. Can we introduce you to the gloriously name JK Shin, Executive Vice President of something and Head of something else we really couldn’t give a flying **** about at Samsung Electronics’ Mobile Communications Division.

Yo Jay-Kay, wasssup ma ni**a, what you got for us today bruvva, what you wanna tell us about the Samsung Genio Touch?

“We see strong growth opportunities in this sector and will continue to pioneer new markets with innovative technology. The Genio is consistent with Samsung’s legacy of developing new products and technologies designed for specific audiences and bringing new devices quickly to market,”

Fo shizzle?

“Samsung’s target audiences are at the heart of its business strategy and the design and functionality of Samsung Genio Touch meets the needs of a highly digitally connected and style conscious youth audience – as does the affordable price point.”

Fo real, is that how – oh, ****, someone just stabbed him. Someone just stuck a fork like right in Jay-Kay’s eye. Damn, dog, that gotta hurt.

Etc and so on and so forth.

Anyway, hopefully that pantomime was illuminating enough for you to want to find out more about the Samsung Genio Touch. No? It wasn’t?

God damn philistines, that’s all you are. Go read this Samsung Genio Touch review instead. Or feast your stupid little eyes on the official press release instead. Imbeciles.

Tags: Genio-02, Genio-orange, Genio-tmobile, Genio-vodafone, mobile, mobile-contract, mobile-contracts, mobile-phone, mobile-phone-contract, mobile-phone-contracts, mobile-phone-deal, mobile-phone-deals, mobile-phones, mobilephone, mobilephones, mobiles, phone, phones, S3650Genio, S3650Genio-contract, S3650Genio-contracts, S3650Genio-deal, S3650Genio-deals, S3650Genio-offer, S3650Genio-offers, Samsung, Samsung-mobile, Samsung-mobiles, Samsung-S3650Genio, Samsung-S3650Genio-deals

Well… would you take a look at the video below.

You just know that Nokia have a lot of faith in the Nokia Booklet 3G when you do a little bit of thinking about how much that nifty 90 seconds might have cost to make. Brand new phone? Some intern in London with a DV cam. Rehash of an old Classic phone? A secretary in Finland with a Polaroid camera and some sticky back plastic is about par for the course.

But this thing…. lordy. And, in all seriousness, we think the Nokia 3G Booklet deserves every bit of currency being thrown at it because it is a little cracker of a netbook. Really, truly, honestly… we’re not about to build up then knock down your expectations with some cuttingly, perfectly timed cynicism, or make you cry a little bit with some acerbic punchline that’d make a boxer wince. Nope, not this time. The Nokia Booklet 3G is a damn good netbook. One of the best out there. Simple as that.

The fact that it’s Nokia’s first foray into the computing world will attract a lot of attention of course. But to us it just makes plain sense. Mobile technology experts in shock transition into, erm, a slightly different type of mobile technology. It’s not exactly trading horse grooming for rocket science, is it?

There’s plenty that isn’t astonishing about this thing – screen size, RAM, processor – but this all disappears from thought when you consider what IS astonishing. 12 hour battery life. Check. A-GPS + Ovi Maps. Check. WiFi + 3G. Check… How cool is that?! Especially the GPS bit…

So there we have it. We told you, didn’t we: not an ounce of cynicism; not a sniff of negativity. How the times they have a-changed.

Check out this Nokia Booklet 3G review, or have a look at the official page for even more cynicism-free ramblings.

Now, we’re off to neck a load of rum and start ranting in the pub to relieve this sarcasm-blockage that’s making us choke…

Tags: booklet-3g-contract, booklet-3g-contracts, booklet-3g-deal, booklet-3g-deals, booklet-3g-offer, booklet-3g-offers, booklet-contract, booklet-contracts, booklet-deal, booklet-deals, booklet-offer, booklet-offers, mobile, mobile-contract, mobile-contracts, mobile-phone, mobile-phone-contract, mobile-phone-contracts, mobile-phone-deal, mobile-phone-deals, mobile-phones, mobilephone, mobilephones, mobiles, netbook-3G, netbook-phone-contract, netbooks, Nokia, Nokia-booklet, Nokia-booklet-3g, nokia-booklet-3g-deals, nokia-booklet-contracts, nokia-booklet-deals, nokia-booklet-laptop, Nokia-laptop, Nokia-mobile, nokia-mobile-phones, nokia-netbook, Nokia-netbook-phones, Nokia-phone, Nokia-phones, Nokia-review, nokia-reviews, Nokiabooklet, Nokiabooklet-3g, Nokiamobile, Nokianetbook, Nokiaphones, phone, phones

Stereotypes can be a terrible, terrible thing. Wars are started, friends fall out, communities are torn apart…

However, stereotypes can also be incredibly useful in helping us navigate the daily world and, used in the right way, can help us overcome certain problems.

The video below, for example, is an intriguing example of how, using one particular batch stereotypes, we can overcome another group of stereotypes, and so reach a better and more fulfilling place.

Stereotypes group 1 – Middle-aged men with funny hair that looks like it’s made of plastic and Stussy t-shirts that are too tight and make their beer bellies stick out should not be trusted in any way, shape, or form. And, in fact, the police should be informed of said man’s whereabouts, just, you know, in case.

However, before you turn off said video in agreement with all of the above, consider that name, and that funny accent a little harder. Then you’ll realise, golly gosh: he’s not a dangerous weirdo, he’s simply Finnish. Finnish! A man of Finland. Land of, erm, reindeer?

But also, land of Nokia. And that’s where stereotypes group 2 comes into play, because, thanks to Nokia, we all know that all of the Finnish people have very tiny fingers and are taught to solder from the age of four and so therefore make the very best mobile phones the world has ever seen. And to think, we though this gentleman kidnapped children for a living! How rash we were.

All that being in place, you can now carry on watching the video and come to realise, as well you should, that the N900 that they’re yapping on about with their funny Finnish mouths is in fact one of the best phones released for a very long time. That the Nokia N900 is, in fact, a work of genius.

Still can’t get over that slight mistrust of the video-Finns? Then read this Nokia N900 review, or have a look at the official stats this-a-way instead.

Tags: mobile, mobile-contract, mobile-contracts, mobile-phone, mobile-phone-contract, mobile-phone-contracts, mobile-phone-deal, mobile-phone-deals, mobile-phones, mobilephone, mobilephones, mobiles, n900, n900-3, n900-contract, n900-contracts, n900-deal, n900-deals, n900-o2, n900-offer, n900-offers, n900-on-contract, n900-orange, n900-tmobile, n900-vodafone, Nokia, Nokia-mobile, nokia-mobile-phones, Nokia-n900, Nokia-phone, Nokia-phones, Nokia-review, nokia-reviews, nokia-reviews Nokian900, Nokiamobile, Nokiaphones, phone, phones

Oh, how times change, dear reader, how times change.

It wasn’t long ago that all 149 Euros before subsidies got you was a can, a string and an instruction manual informing you to shout very loudly into your new talky-can device. Then it was even less time ago that 149 Euros before subsidies would just about get you a mobile phone communication device that could – hold your breaths now – send these things called SMS messages, or “text” messages as the crazy kids of the day called them.

Now? Now look, now would you look at what you can get for 149 Euros before locally applicable surcharges and taxes: the Nokia 5230 no less! Why, the future is, at least briefly, very much here, dear reader. Rejoice and hold hands.

3.2” inch resistive touchscreen? Ovi Maps working with on-board GPS? Music playing for up to 33 hours? Facebooking? Emailing? Loud music on the bus playing? Bright shiny eye hurting cover swapping? Yes, yes, yes and yes again, all on the Nokia 5230.

Have a look at this Nokia 5230 review, or venture towards the official page if you don’t believe us.

And just imagine, just imagine what the future holds for us if this trend continues. Why, in 2011, we can’t but think we’ll all be travelling through time and exploring the deep, cold canyons of the moon thanks to the new teleportational features of whatever-random-4-digit-coded Nokia gets released that year, all for, well, about 149 of your Euros, before, that is, any of those locally applicable taxes and regional surcharges.

What exciting times these are indeed. My goodness.

Tags: 5230, 5230-3, 5230-contract, 5230-contracts, 5230-deal, 5230-deals, 5230-o2, 5230-offer, 5230-offers, 5230-on-contract, 5230-orange, 5230-tmobile, 5230-vodafone, mobile, mobile-contract, mobile-contracts, mobile-phone, mobile-phone-contract, mobile-phone-contracts, mobile-phone-deal, mobile-phone-deals, mobile-phones, mobilephone, mobilephones, mobiles, Nokia, Nokia-5230, Nokia-mobile, nokia-mobile-phones, Nokia-phone, Nokia-phones, Nokia-review, nokia-reviews, nokia-reviews Nokia5230, Nokiamobile, Nokiaphones, phone, phones

Ah, the age old debate… well, the years’ old debate: who to believe: the person who’s made something and is trying to sell it, or the person who has nothing invested in either its success or failure.

Rather a one-sided debate, we’ll agree, but one that’s certainly always amusing to watch from the sidelines. Step forward the contenders on either side of the fight ring that has been erected around the Sony Ericsson Jalou. In the red corner (booo, goes the crowd, boooo) we have the suitably named villain Charles Hunt, head designer on the Sony Ericsson Jalou over at Sony Ericsson. Let’s call him C, for short. Mr C Hunt. Then in the blue corner (wooooo, woooooo!) we have a selection of slightly overweight, scruffy but intelligible online bloggers and Sony Ericsson Jalou reviewers. Oh, and it’s C Hunt coming in with the first punch:

“Structured forms, intricate corners, hidden depths and jewel accents are set to be some of the hottest fashion trends in 2010. You can also expect to see deep and natural jewel colours on the runway next year.”

The bloggers corners ducks and the wild, almost surreal attempt at a punch goes miles wide. Good lord, look at this, C Hunt coming straight back for another effort:

“Packed with unique features and encased in a beautiful facet-cut jewel form, it is a stylish addition to any handbag….”

Wild, crazy almost, and ducked again. Again!:

“Sony Ericsson’s latest style statement is only 73mm long – shorter than your favourite lipstick…”

The crowd booing ferociously as C Hunt starts to sweat and slaver, foam oozing from his fat lips as he becomesa frustrated at the complete lack of effectiveness of what he thought would be the Jalou’s killer blows.

Then, what’s this, the bloggers have discussed something, argued a bit, and are now shoving forward one of their ranks to do something. He’s opening his mouth, wait for it…

“I believe this might be the worst thing I’ve ever seen today. And this is coming from a man who this morning watched two turtles having sex.”

BOOM! There is is! C Hunt is flawed! The crowd goes wild. Truth wins out! World Order is retained… phew.

Tags: ericsson, jalou, jalou-contract, jalou-contracts, jalou-deal, jalou-deals, jalou-offers, mobile, mobile-contract, mobile-contracts, mobile-phone, mobile-phone-contract, mobile-phone-contracts, mobile-phone-deal, mobile-phone-deals, mobile-phones, mobilephone, mobilephones, mobiles, phone, phones, sony, Sony Ericsson, Sony-Ericsson-Jalou, sony-ericsson-jalou-contract, sony-ericsson-jalou-deals

The 3 Mobile INQ Chat 3G has a new Twitter widget… lets you be always on… adds to the already-great Facebook and Windows Live and all the other email and social networking things that were great about the INQ1 (INQ’s first ever phone that won best handset at this year’s global mobile phone awards)… 2.4” screen… fantastic QWERTY keyboard… crazy cheap for a phone this good…

blah blah blah. Anyway, sod all that, we’ve just got one thing to say here: watch the video below.

Okay, so you watched the first minute, got a little unnerved / bored… but trust us, go back to it.

Keep going. Keep going… and… there we go. Yep, told you it was worth.

Dude is wrapping about the INQ Chat 3G. Rapping. About mobile phones. Rapping…

For so long we’ve been relying on things like this INQ Chat review, or on the likes of this to get to find out all there is to know about a phone. Turns out we should have just got this guy to slam down some rhymes. Imagine, in fact, if that were possible. We send this kid each and every new phone we get out hands on. He then raps out it in his lyrical, informative, thoroughly white kind of way. We get not only all the information we need, but also a smile and something to hum along to for the rest of the day.

It’s a winning formula, and you heard it here first. First up, INQ need to get this kid at least a free phone or two for his efforts. And then possibly film a 90 second TV commercial directed by Ridley Scott featuring this kid and some dancing tigers or something. Now THAT would make us happy…

Tags: chat-3g, chat-3g-contract, chat-3g-contracts, chat-3g-deal, chat-3g-deals, chat-3g-offer, chat-3g-offers, INQ, inq-chat-3g, inq-chat-3g-contract, inq-chat-3g-deal, inq-chat-3g-deals, INQ-mobile, INQ-mobile-phones, inqchat-3g, mobile, mobile-contract, mobile-contracts, mobile-phone, mobile-phone-contract, mobile-phone-contracts, mobile-phone-deal, mobile-phone-deals, mobile-phones, mobilephone, mobilephones, mobiles, phone, phones

Stop the press! Hold the headlines! We bring you news of a new phone that… erm… doesn’t do much.

But in our humble opinion, that’s news these days. Because while other phones are striving for the best of, most of, highest of, most expensive of this, that and the other, the INQ Mini 3G goes for the very opposite.

It’s made its goal simply to be very good at one thing. And, as you’d expect, it achieves it. That one thing? Keeping you connected. Because this phone – even despite its crazily low price – is about as good as it gets in the mobile phone world for keeping you hooked up to all your social networking, emailing and messaging sites. This is because the whole operating system and accompanying software has been built from scratch with these things in mind. Whereas other phones will deliver you the same old operating systems and simply bolt on apps for things such as Twitter when they suddenly realise how popular they are, the INQ Mini 3G couldn’t feel more seamless integrated with these things.

But on top of that, this is also an incredibly well built, solid and small little thing. It actually harks back to the days when you could buy a Nokia and fully expect it to still be functioning as well as the day you bought it three years down the line. Something that’s almost unheard of these days.

And, saving the best til last: it’s also cheap. Bonkers cheap. Crazy, silly, almost unbelievable cheap. Check out these INQ Mini 3G deals if you don’t believe us. Or have a little look at this INQ 3G Mini review for a full rundown of what makes this thing so darn attractive a proposition.

Tags: INQ, INQ-mini-3g, INQ-mini-3g-contract, INQ-mini-3g-deals, INQ-mobile, INQ-mobile-phones, INQmini-3g, mini-3g, mini-3g-contract, mini-3g-contracts, mini-3g-deal, mini-3g-deals, mini-3g-offer, mini-3g-offers, mobile, mobile-contract, mobile-contracts, mobile-phone, mobile-phone-contract, mobile-phone-contracts, mobile-phone-deal, mobile-phone-deals, mobile-phones, mobilephone, mobilephones, mobiles, phone, phones

In these cynical times when every brand and his Pedigree Chum dog has realised that music is da place to be (innit) in order to attract chunks of obscenely large wedges of pocket money the yoof of today get, it’s refreshing to see the Nokia 5800 Navigation edition turn its back on this trend and set off on, well, on its own voice-guided, turn-by-turn directed path.

Because while you’ll find Carling sponsoring tramps on the Underground, Brahma sponsoring athletic hippies to dance your faces off with some kind of Brazillian dancing, Smirnoff sponsoring, oh, we don’t know, getting ****ed and throwing vodka bottles at Oasis, Nokia have decided to re-brand their biggest XpressMusic phone seller as, well, as a phone for old people.

Because no one under 25 is seriously going to be interested in the Nokia 5800 Navigator edition, are they? Or are we so out of touch that we’re missing a trick here? Are all the youths in our neighbourhood repeatedly wheel-spinning and doing handbrake turns on our road because they’re lost and would just die for some directions and a little voice-guided help finding their way to the services on the ring road? Are all the little spotty folk buzzing up and down the car park of the recreation centre simply looking for the nearest Waterstones? Clearly that must be what Nokia have noticed! Those smart little Finns.

So, you noisy rascals with your stolen vehicles! Have a little look at this Nokjia 5800 navigation review to convince you more. Or at this official page to, erm, well, convince you of nothing. Or even look at the video below to show you how tranquil and peaceful Finland is without the likes of you making everyone’s life a misery. In fact, why don’t you plot yourselves a route their you little tykes. Ah, go on, no one will miss you. Not even your single mums.

Tags: 5800, 5800-contract, 5800-contracts, 5800-deal, 5800-deals, 5800-navigation-edition, 5800-navigation-edition-contract, 5800-navigation-edition-contracts, 5800-navigation-edition-deal, 5800-navigation-edition-deals, 5800-navigation-edition-offer, 5800-navigation-edition-offers, 5800-offer, 5800-offers, mobile, mobile-contract, mobile-contracts, mobile-phone, mobile-phone-contract, mobile-phone-contracts, mobile-phone-deal, mobile-phone-deals, mobile-phones, mobilephone, mobilephones, mobiles, Nokia, Nokia-5800, Nokia-5800-Contract, Nokia-5800-deals, Nokia-5800-navigation-edition, Nokia-5800-navigation-edition-deals, Nokia-mobile, nokia-mobile-phones, NokiaN97, phone, phones

Fishing is not a sport we have ever been interested in. Fishing is not a sport we will ever be interested in. Fishing is not a sport. Fishing isn’t at all interesting in any way, shape or form. Fishing… okay, well, you get the point. We don’t fish. But despite this aversion, we still have to say that we appreciated the – probably unintentional – humour in calling the Nokia N97 Mini’s new Facebook application / link-up / whatever it is ‘Lifecasting’. Basically, Lifecasting allows you to update your status from the homepage of your Nokia N97, without even having to log in to the Facebook page or anything so terribly painful as that.

Great, we think. People now will have the opportunity to update their status on an even more regular basis. Fantastic. Really, really, great.

Then, after we’d finished weeping into out mid-morning beer, we found ourselves chuckling at the fact that some chump somewhere had decided that this feature should be called Lifecasting. Because what better image for the constant-status-updater than that: a solitary fisherman of life. No, not Jesus, the other kind of fisherman. Yeah, the sad one, on the canal bank on a Saturday afternoon. Spearing helpless maggots onto his hook, then casting them off into the trollery-strewn “depths” of the water. Jiggling his rod around occasionally as nothing happens apart from a cow farting in the field opposite. Casting and jiggling, casting and jiggling. Staring out across the water, casting away, jiggling away. Staring and asking himself, how did it come to this. How did I end up here?

So. There we have it. Are you a Lifecaster? Do you cast and jiggle, cast and jiggle? Then check out this Nokia N97 mini review, or these Nokia N97 Mini deals. Or even let your canal-tired eyes play over the surface of this video instead. Then get back to your casting and jiggling, casting and jiggling…

Tags: mobile, mobile-contract, mobile-contracts, mobile-phone, mobile-phone-contract, mobile-phone-contracts, mobile-phone-deal, mobile-phone-deals, mobile-phones, mobilephone, mobilephones, mobiles, N97, N97-contract, N97-contracts, N97-deal, N97-deals, n97-mini, n97-mini-contract, n97-mini-contracts, n97-mini-deal, n97-mini-deals, n97-mini-offer, n97-mini-offers, N97-offer, N97-offers, Nokia, Nokia-mobile, nokia-mobile-phones, nokia-n97, Nokia-N97-Contract, Nokia-N97-deals, Nokia-n97-mini, Nokia-n97-mini-deals, NokiaN97, phone, phones

In a not unsurprising mangling of this lovely language, some of the marketing materials for the soon-to-be-released Blackberry 8520 describe it as a “supremely approachable” phone. Now, it’s not just us, is it, but that is one of the daftest things we’ve ever heard. What next? Phones that are sensitive? Handsets that are well mannered? Operating systems that are considerate?

But, utterly daft as it is, we can see where they’re coming from, because (to put it more simply) the Blackberry Curve 8520 is the cheapest Blackberry ever released. And little more needs to be said, in fact, because it really is as simple as that. As you’d expect, it’s also just about the simplest / least high-end Blackberry ever, but unless you really do need all those super-fast/-fancy options you’ll find elsewhere, it’s not at all that big a deal. And when you take a look at these Blackberry 8520 deals, you’ll agree all the more. And it’s not like RIM haven’t put any effort in with what the phone does feature. Quite the opposite, in fact, because this thing is the first (probably of many) Blackberries to feature the new mini optical trackpad. This replacement for the old scroll wheel is an absolute winner in our humble opinion.

Add to that a fantastic quality keyboard, good solid design and a very nice crisp screen and those deals start to look even tastier. There’s a bunch more details of what’s there and what’s not in this Blackberry Curve 8520 review, but to sum it all up for you, the 8520 is basically full of win. Hurrah!

Tags: 8520-curve-contract, 8520-curve-contracts, 8520-o2, 8520-orange, 8520-tmobile, 8520-vodafone, Blackberry, blackberry-8520, blackberry-8520-curve-contract, blackberry-8520-curve-review, blackberry-bold, blackberry-bold-review, blackberry-contract, blackberry-curve, blackberry-curve-8520, blackberry-curve-8520-deals, blackberry-curve-8520-reviews, blackberry-deals, blackberry-features, blackberry-mobile, blackberry-mobile-phone, blackberry-mobile-phones, blackberry-phones, blackberry-review, blackberry-reviews, curve-8520-contract, curve-8520-deal, mobile, mobile-contract, mobile-contracts, mobile-phone, mobile-phone-contract, mobile-phone-contracts, mobile-phone-deal, mobile-phone-deals, mobile-phones, mobilephone, mobilephones, mobiles, phone, phones