Well… would you take a look at the video below.

You just know that Nokia have a lot of faith in the Nokia Booklet 3G when you do a little bit of thinking about how much that nifty 90 seconds might have cost to make. Brand new phone? Some intern in London with a DV cam. Rehash of an old Classic phone? A secretary in Finland with a Polaroid camera and some sticky back plastic is about par for the course.

But this thing…. lordy. And, in all seriousness, we think the Nokia 3G Booklet deserves every bit of currency being thrown at it because it is a little cracker of a netbook. Really, truly, honestly… we’re not about to build up then knock down your expectations with some cuttingly, perfectly timed cynicism, or make you cry a little bit with some acerbic punchline that’d make a boxer wince. Nope, not this time. The Nokia Booklet 3G is a damn good netbook. One of the best out there. Simple as that.

The fact that it’s Nokia’s first foray into the computing world will attract a lot of attention of course. But to us it just makes plain sense. Mobile technology experts in shock transition into, erm, a slightly different type of mobile technology. It’s not exactly trading horse grooming for rocket science, is it?

There’s plenty that isn’t astonishing about this thing – screen size, RAM, processor – but this all disappears from thought when you consider what IS astonishing. 12 hour battery life. Check. A-GPS + Ovi Maps. Check. WiFi + 3G. Check… How cool is that?! Especially the GPS bit…

So there we have it. We told you, didn’t we: not an ounce of cynicism; not a sniff of negativity. How the times they have a-changed.

Check out this Nokia Booklet 3G review, or have a look at the official page for even more cynicism-free ramblings.

Now, we’re off to neck a load of rum and start ranting in the pub to relieve this sarcasm-blockage that’s making us choke…

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Stereotypes can be a terrible, terrible thing. Wars are started, friends fall out, communities are torn apart…

However, stereotypes can also be incredibly useful in helping us navigate the daily world and, used in the right way, can help us overcome certain problems.

The video below, for example, is an intriguing example of how, using one particular batch stereotypes, we can overcome another group of stereotypes, and so reach a better and more fulfilling place.

Stereotypes group 1 – Middle-aged men with funny hair that looks like it’s made of plastic and Stussy t-shirts that are too tight and make their beer bellies stick out should not be trusted in any way, shape, or form. And, in fact, the police should be informed of said man’s whereabouts, just, you know, in case.

However, before you turn off said video in agreement with all of the above, consider that name, and that funny accent a little harder. Then you’ll realise, golly gosh: he’s not a dangerous weirdo, he’s simply Finnish. Finnish! A man of Finland. Land of, erm, reindeer?

But also, land of Nokia. And that’s where stereotypes group 2 comes into play, because, thanks to Nokia, we all know that all of the Finnish people have very tiny fingers and are taught to solder from the age of four and so therefore make the very best mobile phones the world has ever seen. And to think, we though this gentleman kidnapped children for a living! How rash we were.

All that being in place, you can now carry on watching the video and come to realise, as well you should, that the N900 that they’re yapping on about with their funny Finnish mouths is in fact one of the best phones released for a very long time. That the Nokia N900 is, in fact, a work of genius.

Still can’t get over that slight mistrust of the video-Finns? Then read this Nokia N900 review, or have a look at the official stats this-a-way instead.

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Oh, how times change, dear reader, how times change.

It wasn’t long ago that all 149 Euros before subsidies got you was a can, a string and an instruction manual informing you to shout very loudly into your new talky-can device. Then it was even less time ago that 149 Euros before subsidies would just about get you a mobile phone communication device that could – hold your breaths now – send these things called SMS messages, or “text” messages as the crazy kids of the day called them.

Now? Now look, now would you look at what you can get for 149 Euros before locally applicable surcharges and taxes: the Nokia 5230 no less! Why, the future is, at least briefly, very much here, dear reader. Rejoice and hold hands.

3.2” inch resistive touchscreen? Ovi Maps working with on-board GPS? Music playing for up to 33 hours? Facebooking? Emailing? Loud music on the bus playing? Bright shiny eye hurting cover swapping? Yes, yes, yes and yes again, all on the Nokia 5230.

Have a look at this Nokia 5230 review, or venture towards the official page if you don’t believe us.

And just imagine, just imagine what the future holds for us if this trend continues. Why, in 2011, we can’t but think we’ll all be travelling through time and exploring the deep, cold canyons of the moon thanks to the new teleportational features of whatever-random-4-digit-coded Nokia gets released that year, all for, well, about 149 of your Euros, before, that is, any of those locally applicable taxes and regional surcharges.

What exciting times these are indeed. My goodness.

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In these cynical times when every brand and his Pedigree Chum dog has realised that music is da place to be (innit) in order to attract chunks of obscenely large wedges of pocket money the yoof of today get, it’s refreshing to see the Nokia 5800 Navigation edition turn its back on this trend and set off on, well, on its own voice-guided, turn-by-turn directed path.

Because while you’ll find Carling sponsoring tramps on the Underground, Brahma sponsoring athletic hippies to dance your faces off with some kind of Brazillian dancing, Smirnoff sponsoring, oh, we don’t know, getting ****ed and throwing vodka bottles at Oasis, Nokia have decided to re-brand their biggest XpressMusic phone seller as, well, as a phone for old people.

Because no one under 25 is seriously going to be interested in the Nokia 5800 Navigator edition, are they? Or are we so out of touch that we’re missing a trick here? Are all the youths in our neighbourhood repeatedly wheel-spinning and doing handbrake turns on our road because they’re lost and would just die for some directions and a little voice-guided help finding their way to the services on the ring road? Are all the little spotty folk buzzing up and down the car park of the recreation centre simply looking for the nearest Waterstones? Clearly that must be what Nokia have noticed! Those smart little Finns.

So, you noisy rascals with your stolen vehicles! Have a little look at this Nokjia 5800 navigation review to convince you more. Or at this official page to, erm, well, convince you of nothing. Or even look at the video below to show you how tranquil and peaceful Finland is without the likes of you making everyone’s life a misery. In fact, why don’t you plot yourselves a route their you little tykes. Ah, go on, no one will miss you. Not even your single mums.

Tags: 5800, 5800-contract, 5800-contracts, 5800-deal, 5800-deals, 5800-navigation-edition, 5800-navigation-edition-contract, 5800-navigation-edition-contracts, 5800-navigation-edition-deal, 5800-navigation-edition-deals, 5800-navigation-edition-offer, 5800-navigation-edition-offers, 5800-offer, 5800-offers, mobile, mobile-contract, mobile-contracts, mobile-phone, mobile-phone-contract, mobile-phone-contracts, mobile-phone-deal, mobile-phone-deals, mobile-phones, mobilephone, mobilephones, mobiles, Nokia, Nokia-5800, Nokia-5800-Contract, Nokia-5800-deals, Nokia-5800-navigation-edition, Nokia-5800-navigation-edition-deals, Nokia-mobile, nokia-mobile-phones, NokiaN97, phone, phones

Fishing is not a sport we have ever been interested in. Fishing is not a sport we will ever be interested in. Fishing is not a sport. Fishing isn’t at all interesting in any way, shape or form. Fishing… okay, well, you get the point. We don’t fish. But despite this aversion, we still have to say that we appreciated the – probably unintentional – humour in calling the Nokia N97 Mini’s new Facebook application / link-up / whatever it is ‘Lifecasting’. Basically, Lifecasting allows you to update your status from the homepage of your Nokia N97, without even having to log in to the Facebook page or anything so terribly painful as that.

Great, we think. People now will have the opportunity to update their status on an even more regular basis. Fantastic. Really, really, great.

Then, after we’d finished weeping into out mid-morning beer, we found ourselves chuckling at the fact that some chump somewhere had decided that this feature should be called Lifecasting. Because what better image for the constant-status-updater than that: a solitary fisherman of life. No, not Jesus, the other kind of fisherman. Yeah, the sad one, on the canal bank on a Saturday afternoon. Spearing helpless maggots onto his hook, then casting them off into the trollery-strewn “depths” of the water. Jiggling his rod around occasionally as nothing happens apart from a cow farting in the field opposite. Casting and jiggling, casting and jiggling. Staring out across the water, casting away, jiggling away. Staring and asking himself, how did it come to this. How did I end up here?

So. There we have it. Are you a Lifecaster? Do you cast and jiggle, cast and jiggle? Then check out this Nokia N97 mini review, or these Nokia N97 Mini deals. Or even let your canal-tired eyes play over the surface of this video instead. Then get back to your casting and jiggling, casting and jiggling…

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Love Facebook?! Update your status at least fifteen times a day?! Or can’t get enough of Twitter?! Or just wish you could be instant messaging all day?!!!…

Yeah, us neither. But beware you overly cynical, because even though the Nokia 6760 slide might not be for you, or us, it is going to make a lot of typing types out there plain ecstatic. That’s because the Nokia 6760 slide has one of the largest and easy to use QWERTY keyboards on just about any mobile phone currently out there. Add to that a huge portion of all the Facebook, Twitter and email apps and programs that the well-connected youth of today can’t live without, and release all (in a couple of months) with a very low price tag, and chances are this thing’s going to sell by the truck load.

So even while you think it’s ugly and bulky, someone else might be flocking towards these Nokia 6760 slide deals quicker than you can say ‘I just updated my status to tell everyone about my new phone.’

And that’s even before we mention that even with the big keyboard, this thing is still surprisingly compact and light. And it has a decent-ish camera. And comes pre-installed with the fantastic Nokia Maps… Ah, come on, admit it: you don’t hate this thing as much as you thought you would, do you? Check out this Nokia 6760 slide review for even more glowing tributes to the little thing.

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There are many things in life that claim to be designed for one thing but are actually used in very different ways. And, more often than not, it’s the not-admitted ways that are by far the most profitable for the companies making these things. Red Bull, for example, do not make their money out of attractive young skiers and waterboarders in the likes of California or Austria, even though their marketing strategy might suggest that’s who drinks it. No, they make their money from millions upon millions of chavs getting tanked up on doublevodkaredbullpleaseyeah’s every weekend. Similarly, Burberry may employ goddesses like Kate Moss to suggest their clothes are high-end, but we all know their profits come from selling caps, scarves and other mid-priced accessories to, well, chavs who are full of red bull and vodka.

So it is with the Nokia 3720 Classic. A phone that is for explorers, construction workers, intrepid ocean crossers, astronauts, sailors… erm, right… yeah. Where the Nokia 3720 is actually going to make money for Nokia is when all those millions upon millions of you out there who can’t go a full day without spilling coffee on someone, standing on a laptop or dropping their phone realise that having a phone that bounces and is waterproof could be pretty darn useful.

Sound like you? What do you mean, yes, you’re an explorer… oh well, guess there’s always one. Check out this Nokia 3720 review for more things this thing can resist, click here for the official page, or just have a little look at this pleasant little video.

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If, god help you, you were to sit through the full length of the video below, you would learn a lot about the Nokia 6710. You’d learn, for example, that when it comes to mapping software and navigational tools, the 6710 is pretty much second to none. That whether driving or walking, you can set this thing up to tell you not only where you are and how to get you to where you’re going, but will also give you more information about pretty much anything you want to know about along the way. All well and good. However, like much televisual entertainment today, it is a load of utter tripe based on false premises and bearing no relation to what would actually happen. So, in true fact-correcting style, we’re going to raise a few important points:

1.On finding the phone, the man had not seen who had left it behind. In fact, a middle-aged man is the only person visible. So why does the star fop decide to set off on his mission to find the person. Why does he think it’s worth it in the first place?
2.Has this fop got nothing better to do with his time than spend all day returning a phone to someone who might very well be (and probably is, given the type of person who would actually buy a phone sold for its mapping capabilities) a middle-aged man. That rumpled suit suggest he might in fact have been out all night and is therefore drunk and delirious, which can be the only logical answer
3.even drunkenness and/or delirium wouldn’t make any sane person think anything other than, “i could flog that on eBay and make a fair bit. Cash-back.” So this person is also insane, logically
4.Insane, drunk and delirious as he is (and probably stinking of rum), how in the hell does he manage to persuade that moped idiot to give him a ride?
5.On opening her door to find a stinking raving drunk lunatic stalker waving her phone in her face, why oh why does the woman not instantly stick her foot squarely between this fop’s nuts whilst screaming for someone to fetch the police?

Hmmm? See? Anyway, you might actually want to know something about the Nokia 6710 Navigator itself, I guess. Something that lying videos or belligerent bloggers can’t manage to do. Well, help is at hand via this handy Nokia 6710 review, or via The official Nokia page. In the meantime, we’re off to hunt down the scriptwriters and director for this work of ‘art’ and give them a piece of our mind.

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It might be because we’re getting old. It might be because this job has made us jaded. But when something as beautifully dull as the Nokia 6700 comes along, we get all warm and fuzzy inside our cockles. Wherever our cockles might be. The 6700, like most smartphones on the market these days, has a very decent camera, 3G, Bluetooth, very quick HSDPA, a fantastic we browser and all the other things that make us yawn and reach for our cocoa. (That’s cocoa the drink, you pesky web police, not coca the brain fizzler).

But the Nokia 6700 classic is so much more than that. Or, put more accurately: so much less. It has a far smaller screen that most of these other smartphones. It’s not got all the 3d/HD gaming potential. It doesn’t take pictures that would fill our pathetic desktop’s hard drive in a matter of minutes. And despite, or more precisely because of these bare-faced choices, the 6700 is a stonker of a phone. It’s a phone, like its predecessor the 6300, that is made to be used as and when you actually need to use it, then put away (snugly, seeing as how small and perfectly formed it is) into your pocket and forgotten about. In many ways, then, it’s the anti-phone. And we can’t get enough of it. We know there’s going to be plenty of you out there who want more / bigger / louder / fancier. But we think there’s probably more who – if you actually think about it – really don’t want that bigness / loudness / etc.

And don’t go away from this thinking the 6700 is under-spec’ed, far from it. It’s a fully-fledged 3G phone, as this Nokia 6700 review proves, as does Nokia’s official page. It’s just not the very very best, or the very very latest. But then, those claims only hold water for a month or two, whereas the 6700 will hold its own for a very, very long time to come. Have a little look at the video below for more of a taster.

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With all the high-end functions, features and other fancy stuff that the Nokia E52 thing has, it seems a little silly to focus on battery life, but that’s exactly what we want to do. So, in the interests of time, we’re going to list all those features as quickly as possible so we can get to the stuff that we (and perhaps no-one else) think is interesting.

Deep breath now: Noise Cancellation Symbian OS, S60 v3.2 Email Nokia Messaging Mail for exchange and IBM Lotus Notes Traveller A-GPS Nokia Maps 3.0 3.2 MP camera: LED flash 4 x digital zoom auto focus, red eye reduction Film video up to 15 fps Second camera which faces the frontWatch videos in MP4 RealVideo WMV HSDPA speed10.2 Mbps Compass 1GB in-box Micro SD card extendable to 16GB Two different shades: metal grey and golden aluminium 2.4” TFT display, 240 x 320 pixels up to 16 million colours High speed micro USB Bluetooth 2.0 Wifi 3.5 mm audio jack

Phew, anyway, so: the battery life. You’re going to like this. Not a lot, but you’ll like it. The battery life is claimed as offering somewhere between 25 and 28 days of standby! 28 days! And if zombie films have taught us nothing, it’s that a (hell of a) lot can happen in 28 days. We still can’t quite believe it. And fair enough no one is actually going to use the E52 for 28 days without actually using it, but if you think about how that compares to some other phones (iPhone 3G S – 12 days; Blackberry Curve – 17days) you’ll realise this is a stonker of a battery. There’s a slightly less manic Nokia E52 review here, or have a look at this Nokia E52 video below:

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